fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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