I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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