Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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