I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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