It's like God shit irony all over that family
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
