They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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