Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
