I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
