You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
3pm strippers are depressing
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
