Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
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