Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
