I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
