soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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