I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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