i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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