"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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