Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
