if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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