Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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