I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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