Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i love accidental penises.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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