Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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