dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
