I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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