Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
