I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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