I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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