Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
