Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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