i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
