we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
