I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
