oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
