in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
