you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
