so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
