Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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