cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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