Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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