Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
