She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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