EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
