never play flip cup with pint glasses
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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