I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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