i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
