discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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