Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
