Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
