what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
