please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
