You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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