i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
