We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
